Even though I can't see the sun through these clouds...

When do you know the worth of a mans soul? Its when he is at his lowest, when all else fails around him.

Trying to keep face, holding out strong, standing tall...or so he thinks. In every man there is a chink in his armour, a weak spot, a soft opening that exposes an area for a killer blow; and everytime its the same blow that can strike him down...
It doesnt matter the time, the look, the style, personality, every single time, its the same method; the same killer. And every time, it hurts the same and does the same damage.

Every time man is faced with the questioning, he does the same tactic; allow for some truth, allow for some ambiguity, allow for some hurt to come through. Enough to show he cares, enough to save his own skin, enough to allow for some reasoning, or so he thinks.
Every time he falls short, and has to answer for it...every time, and its when he is answering for it that the killer blow really strikes its hardest.
Lies...lies...all it is is lies. This is what half truths get you. When its time to divulge the full truth, it gets thrown back, as a means of: "I wish i could believe you but...".
This is the killer blow. To really truly open up, to really show your heart, to really be vulnerable; and to have it all thrown back at you, to have vomited back at you. No scorn, anger, disbelief from your part can justify this emotion, as you know you have no one to blame, but yourself.

So what what now? What do you do? How do you handle it? How do you answer the nagging questions that linger at the very chords of your soul, the questions of truth that shake you to the core.
You know you screwed it up again, you know you are inadequate, you know, that you abused your God sanctified level of power; and what now? What now do you ask?

To live as a man, is to live each day with honour. Laying your head each night to rest, you should have no regrets, know that you lived with truth, integrity and honour.
Is this possible when you have been given the killer blow?
How about, if you have acknowledged that you screwed up, acknowledged that you made a mess, and apologised. Ask for forgiveness, if its possible...and forgive back, even if its not for you to do so. Does it help?

And so, the battle rages. Ask man what his greatest fear is...he will never admit it, he will never show it. Its the fear of inadequacy; that he is never enough.
To be confronted with the killer blow, to be asked of yourself why you were never honest, why you "lied", its fear of his adequacy that prevails, that lead to this moment, lead to the killer blow; and it takes the truest test of honesty to face up to this blow. What woman do with this honesty, remains to each's ability to comprehend the consequences. reaffirmation of mans inadequacy, or affirmation that he is enough.

Should it be known..
(listen) Even though I can't see the sun through these clouds

We are all broken, but we are all gifted...

Take Everything

Take your broken pieces, your shattered soul, your thoughts that think there is nothing worthy, and go to Him...He wants you too, He wants it more than anything else on this earth...give it all to Him, absolutely everything, hold nothing back, just give it all to Him...

PS: How do I know that an Almighty Creator, Redeemer, All Powerful Provider, Forgiver and Merciful One exists?: